Trying to be less judgemental is a worthwhile goal because judgement often gets in the way of good communication, shared understanding, and lasting connection.
When people feel judged, they shut down and pull away. No one likes the feeling.
Luckily, I think we can all practice being less judgemental.
One of the best ways I’ve found to do that is to stop thinking about what I would’ve done when listening to someone’s story. That’s where your judgement comes from. Thinking, “Oh, I would have never done X or said Y.”
That’s you listening to their story as if the events were happening to you. That’s you projecting yourself into their situation.
But if you really listen, obviously that’s not the story they’re telling. If you really try to focus on hearing the words, their story is told from their perspective, and from their perspective, at least to some extent, their decisions make sense.
The better you get at removing yourself and your perspective from other people’s stories, the better you get at hearing what they’re actually saying, understanding where they’re coming from, and connecting with their thoughts and emotions.
You become more absorbed in their story and far less judgemental.
It’s something I work at all the time because it’s so useful in my everyday life and also in the financial planning work I do with clients.
Judgement is the last thing most people need when it comes to their finances, and unfortunately, it’s something people get a lot of from their interactions with the financial industry.
Finance tends to attract people who lack a certain amount of emotional intelligence. They’re often better with spreadsheets than people, which is a shame, because it’s so counterproductive.
Lots of the people we work with at Tallkirk Financial Group have stories about feeling judged by someone at their bank, or an insurance salesperson, or a high networth financial advisor. It’s one reason they like working with us.
Because we take pride in being non-judgemental. It leads to better relationships, better understanding, and better outcomes. I also happen to think it’s the right thing to do.